Tonight's News...

I’m sittingg here, flipping through the news channels, looking for the Judge. Dead fish.  Next channel, dead birds, okay, next news channel, fire at Five Star penthouse. YES! Come on, come on give me more details. The police have not yet released any other information. No! Nothing, I set a five star penthouse on fire, and you have no other information. What about the Judge and the dead prostitute?

 So now I’m suppose to believe the news doesn’t have any more information. Give me a break, they’re just trying to think of ways to spin that the Judge was found in a flaming penthouse with a prostitute and enough blow to take a sled ride down. You’re probably wondering what I did with the Judge and her friend? Well I didn’t lay them in the bed holding each other’s hand (this ain’t the Notebook).

Back to the scene of the crime.

I’m standing there sweating bullets, wondering, what to do with the bodies, before any type of rigamortis sets in and they CSI these murders back to me. That’s the kind of thing that gets you the HIT SQUAD (more on that later).

So I go through a number of staging acts in my head.  A few were, the Judge sees the chick O.D. and bolts for the door and dies, but I never got to use the poison on her, thanks to Ms.Heinz taste tester over here. Plus the bruises around the neck point to murder, a blind flat foot would know that. Then I spot the lingerie on the door, and it hits me.

The Judge likes to play dress up, so it wouldn’t be strange if she liked to get spanked also, because you can’t put anything past kinky people.  So I use the cat woman whip to tie the Judge up, and I dress the hooker (I know it’s a nasty word but she’s dead now) in the lingerie, and make it look like a sex act gone bad.

Then I place her body in front of the door, to make it look like she was going to leave before the cops found the Judge. And finally I unhinged a gas line in the back of the stove, and I turn on the fireplace.  Then I leave out the window, and scale two floors down, and in five minutes Voila. Oh, hold on breaking news headline.

The Judge was found dead, in the hotel fire…wait, that’s it, no girlfriend or acquaintance even mentioned.  Jeez, she must have friends in high places to make a person completely disappear. If that’s the case then, I will be alright, and my buyer will contact me any moment to pick up the rest of my money. Excuse me the bat phone’s ringing. Hello (speak of the Devil)…yeah, I know the place.

Time to go collect my money, I think.